Do you want to grow your relationship towards happiness and contentment – here are some tips on doing so.
1. True relationships grow you from the inside out
Everyone remembers the Jerry Maguire line ‘You complete me.’ That’s cute and romantic, but enter into a relationship as a whole, interdependent person. Furthermore, that relationship is more about you completing or ‘loving’ the other person than it is about what you get in return. The Bible does say that two become one. In order to truly do that, you have to come together the right way. That means enjoying each other’s uniqueness, especially the quirks and difficulties that come with relationships.
2. Seeing and accepting your partner in truth
The problem with romanticism without true relationship is that the person you love easily becomes of a symbol of your expectations. You want to truly know your partner and accept him or her in truth. True love means you know and accept things about your partner that force you outside your comfort zone. You grow together in the relationship, learning that love has nothing to do with inward solitude and picture perfect idealism.
3. True love means partners learn from one another
A true partner helps to bring out the best in you, and that process isn’t always comfortable. It has its ups and downs, just like relationships do in general. True partners learn and grow together. Think of your partner as a mirror for a moment. That combination can help you contemplate how in every situation, you want to strive to become a better person. You want to do that because you love him or her. Difficult situations can leave you either pointing fingers or healing from the inside out.
4. Be comfortable and confident when alone
In a relationship, you want to spend as much time as possible with your partner. Yet there are going to be many times when you are by yourself, too. You must be comfortable and confident during those times; otherwise, you’re looking at a dependent relationship, not an interdependent relationship with two independent people. You’re never alone in Spirit. Time apart from your partner makes the time you have with him or her that much more special.
5. Fighting without resolve creates false togetherness
Arguments are going to happen. Yet it’s important to put love first so that they are rare, not blown out of proportion and are handled correctly. Think about how fights begin. Consider the fact that there are couples who fight constantly and make up afterward, only to keep some kind of selfish ideal of romanticism in place. This is really how fights begin because that type of couple isn’t learning and growing together. You want real intimacy, not drama and a romantic trance. The fearful fight, and taking the other approach mentioned will help you more easily come together with your partner. Here are some great tips from London Meditation Centre.
6. Be yourself, own yourself and love yourself
People often have a particular romantic idea of love and don’t comprehend what is truly coming their way. They tend to think more in terms of the ‘complete me’ metaphor. How can you give love if you don’t have love? Furthermore, you must love yourself, be yourself and own yourself. True love is possible under those circumstances.
7. Ordinariness is truth in a relationship
Do you picture a fairy tale marriage? Is your partner a superhero? Everyone tends to romanticize certain aspects of people, but the truth of the matter is we are all people, human beings. Ordinariness is right in front of our faces, and its nuances are lovely. Yet many people avoid coming face to face with ordinariness like it’s the plague. Embracing ordinariness is certainly part of love, truly enjoying the simple things in life. Isn’t that the juice of true intimacy?
8. Open your heart in love
Everyone wants to be happy and loved. Happiness and love come from within and are shared with others. You must open up your heart to someone. True love and true intimacy also mean that you continue to work on opening your heart wider over time. You want to be aware of where your heart lies. And when your heart is connected to God, it is connected to your partner, and it’s easy for both of you to see the good in each other.
9. Give love above all
People sometimes place a precedent on happiness based on feeling loved. Happiness comes from within and is tied to loving ourselves and loving others more. It’s difficult for some people to cut the umbilical cord here, but the positive outcome is that you love and are loved more deeply.
Amila Gamage Wickramarachchi is the founder of this blog where she shares her parenting and lifestyle experiences. She is an engineer and a trainer who works in the construction industry. She is the founder of Sihela Consultants.(www.sihelaconsultants.com)