A divorce or separation is a tough time for anyone going through it, no matter the reason. It can turn a person’s world upside down and make it difficult to perform any task, even at work. However, the good news is that there are things a person can do to get through this situation and adjustment.
1. Realize that it is fine to have different feelings
It is important to realize that it is normal to be angry, sad, frustrated, exhausted, and confused. Understandably, these feelings can be intense. Let’s not forget that it may make you feel anxious about the future. Accepting all this will make the recovery time lesser.
2. Give yourself a break
Allow yourself to function at a less than normal level over the period. Remember, this is going to be just for a little while. As such, if you find yourself not being productive as before, do not beat yourself, allow the situation, and give yourself time to recover. Nobody is superman, it takes time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
3. Do not go through it alone
Sharing is a great way to get through the tough times. As such, you should consider sharing it with friends and family. You may also benefit from joining support groups where you can talk and listen to others in a similar situation. Isolating yourself is only a recipe for stress, concentration, and even poor overall health. Do not be afraid to share your feelings as it will help you.
4. Take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself does not only include the physical, but also the emotional aspect of it. In other words, look after yourself very well. you can do this by taking time to exercises, eat healthy meals, and relaxing. Try as much as possible to maintain your routine and avoid making major decisions or life-changing plans. Avoid substances like drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes or use them as a way to cope with the new changes.
5. Avoid arguments or power struggles with your Ex or spouse
This is one of the biggest mistakes people tend to do. Arguments or power struggles will only make the situation worse. For this reason, anytime a discussion begins to turn into a fight, calmly suggest that both of you take a break and talk later.
6. Explore your interests
Keeping yourself busy is an excellent way to go through a tough time. Reconnecting with the things you enjoy doing is a great way to keep yourself busy. If you always wanted to take music lessons, consider taking one. All you need is to sign up for a class. In a nutshell, try investing in your hobbies, and anything else you have always wanted to do.
7. Positive thinking
Thinking positively is easier said than done. Of course, things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends is a great way to start. Start moving forward with reasonable expectations. Be flexible if you have kids or family traditions. However, some of them may need adjustments. With time, things will go back to normal, but the normal will be different from your past.
Tips For Talking To Children
If you were married and have kids, you will need to know how to communicate with them. Below is a shortlist of tips that will help you communicate with young children: –
• Listen and reassure – first let your kids know that you are divorcing and it is not their fault. Listen to them and ease their concerns. Be companionate and direct in your response.
• Maintain routine and stability – try as much as possible to maintain your children’s daily and weekly routines. Doing this creates stability in their life and something familiar.
• Be consistent on discipline – let your children know the Dos and Don’ts. As such, agree in advance with your Ex-spouse on bedtime, curfews, and any other decisions and punishments
• Let your children know that they can rely on you – it is wise to make and keep realistic promises. Remember not to confide too much in them about the divorce and feelings.
• Never involve your children in conflicts – avoid talking negatively or arguing with the other parent in front of the children. Never use them as spies or messengers or force them to take sides.